Chris Henderson Coaching
  • Home
  • Events & Blog
    • Women Howling at the Moon >
      • Women Talk About Howling
    • Blog
  • Work with Chris
    • Ways of working with Chris >
      • Acts of Liberation
    • Power into Your Next Zone
    • Unstoppable
  • About
    • Contact
  • Testimonials
  • Login

Who'd have thought a conversation about procrastination could be so good!

22/10/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
This month has been a big moon and a big topic for Women Howling at the Moon as we explored procrastination and how to power beyond it. The experience of deep diving into this challenging domain with a community of strong, wholehearted women was a treat.

Heartwarming, enlivening and inspiring is what comes to mind - and with a heap of ahas, new possibilities and even a new lightness of being pervading the room. Then there was the howling and laughing. No need to tell you what all that does for the endorphins!


This issue is of particular interest to women with a big commitment to leave the world a better place.

Thank goodness we had a lot of experts in the room we could call on. Read on for the key learnings, ahas and actions from this learned and experienced group.

What we're talking about

Procrastination is widely considered to be "the practice of carrying out less urgent tasks in preference to more urgent ones, or doing more pleasurable things in place of less pleasurable ones, and thus putting off impending tasks to a later time."

​Implicit here is a negative consequence to the actions. That puts procrastination in a whole different ballpark to the more straight-forward, intentional practice of delaying a task or otherwise creating a clearing for action. It is also different to prioritising or scheduling. (Keep this conversation in mind for when we later talk about procrastination and creativity.) 

Procrastination shows up in a heap of ways including perfectionism, avoidance, feeling stuck, self-sabotage, overwork, overwhelm, indecision, negativity-thinking and fear of failure. Even apparent thrill-seeking may be included, eg for those of us who do assignments at the last minute due to continually putting off the inevitable.

Locked in by fear

Procrastination tends to be underpinned and driven by fear. The presence of fear sets the amygdala brain's primitive flight-fight function in motion, which reduces access to the more thoughtful wisdom of the prefrontal cortex, and can prompt further avoidance behaviours.  Round and round we go, yes?? Recognise that feeling or pattern? Me too! Add in there a tendency towards immediate gratification versus and avoidance of discomfort or delayed gratification, and it's a potent mix!

There is a real cost associated with procrastination, isn't there, for both the longer term and in the immediate moment - and on so many dimensions. 


Of course you will have heard most of this before since the inner critics have a LOT to say around this topic, since they have a vested interest to have us get 'off it'. Or do they??  
Procrastination is underpinned and driven by fear. The presence of fear sets the amygdala brain's primitive flight-fight function in motion, which reduces access to the more thoughtful wisdom of the prefrontal cortex, and can prompt further avoidance behaviours.  Round and round we go, yes?? Recognise that feeling or pattern? Me too! 

There is a real cost associated with procrastination, isn't there, for both the longer term and in the immediate moment - and on so many dimensions. 


Of course you will have heard most of this before since the inner critics have a LOT to say around this topic, since they have a vested interest to have us get 'off it'. Or do they??  
Our inner critics help us stay stuck, with the result that OMG we can end up repeating the same crappy patterns ad infinatum and, if we're supposedly also stepping up and playing big, we can feel exhausted even before we get started. 

Imagine doing step aerobics where we are sitting ducks for getting beaten up at every step, and there's a powerful force dragging us in the other direction for every tiny move we made - while putting us down and telling us in no uncertain terms to get on with it. 

We know from science and practice that that approach totally doesn't work for changing behaviours for the better.

Procrastination vis a vis creativity

Some folk talk about procrastination as useful as a way of generating space for ideas and creativity.

However from what we understand of brain functioning, access to creativity reduces when fear is present. In fact, creativity is WAY harder to access in the presence of fear. It's that amygdala part of the brain in action, whereas we need action in that area to diminish to allow the prefrontal cortex to come into play for creativity. 

When we make a space for creativity, for incubating ideas, it is a conscious action, a choice to make space.

See how the clearing for creativity, eg the artist break, can be understood as a consciously choice of delay  - eg taking a space between the start and finish of a project. It is not that sort of hunted or out-of-our-control feeling that we associate with procrastination.

When we label this action, this honouring of our creative dimensions as procrastination, we fall in line with the proclivity of the Inner Critic to position anything as bad, especially if it's a dimension of us. Plus this put-down fits in with the lesser value placed by society on mindfulness, creativity, being present. Hmm - participating in a conspiracy theory against us, maybe?

Let's name and claim our creative spaces, our ideas generation spaces as exactly THAT. Not as procrastination!  
 
Picture
Picture

AHAs and takeaways

Our Inner Critics have a vested interest that may be quite different to ours. We each have a wise woman inside. We would do well to create a space to listen in to her, to our intuition. Listen for what we really want or need - and that can change within a short space of time. Below are suggestions from the group regarding some of the key underlying issues and responses found to be effective:

Fear of what's next: Be comfortable with uncertainty
Thrill seeking / Disconnection with the inner: Be still. Be in the moment.
Perfectionism: Let it sit. Breathe. Do something different. Cogitate to determine a way forward. Embrace imperfect action and 'fail fast'.
Fear of failure: Ask for help. If it's worth doing, it's worth doing badly. Listen to yourself. Ask your body.
Trust yourself.
Frustration, anger (eg avoidance of systems): Sometimes the appropriate response may be righteous resistance, for example when a decreed course of action does not match one's own beliefs. Other suggestions here are to choose the way things are; and to look at what I need to work on next in myself.
And from the evening, AHAs grouped under three key themes: looking after self (eg reframe what our inner critics are saying, such as "No, I haven't stopped my life! I'm redesigning!"), becoming aware of what's running in the background (eg the realisation that "fear is my roadblock") and identifying one area in which to take action (eg "ask for help!").

Closing message: give compassion to ourselves first!

This has been a timely reminder of how liberating it is to share solitary experience and to be reminded just how much what feels a solitary anguish is in fact the human condition shared by every one of us - despite what each of our inner critics continues to whisper or snark to us!  

Perhaps the biggest shared takeaways of all was how important it is to give up beating ourselves up, and instead to come from love, be present, bring compassion to ourselves (now there's a new idea for some of us ;->) and listen to our intuition.
PLUS, remember that we call procrastination at times may not in fact be that at all, but rather, a wise choice to take a creativity break, or to honour our values through quietly avoiding the task.  This is a very different situation, so let's name it properly and give ourselves a break, hehe, okay?

A lunar information source* summed up a key aspect of this particular full moon's wisdom in the following way*: 
​"the more grounded we are in reality, 
the easier it is to deal with our fears, 

turning them into raw, creative potential."

Invitation to share

I invite you to join the Women Howling private group conversation online if you're a woman and you haven't already.  You'll find a lovely, diverse group of strong, caring, compassionate women who are keen to be the best version of themselves they can - and to be a contribution further afield. 

Stop by and say hello. AND if you like, when you're ready ..in fact, before you're ready! ...share an AHA you've had, and your intention for the next few weeks. 

For me, I can become quite stuck when it comes to expressing myself in writing. My intention is to bring a new lightness and play and more me to my communication, and to write in a shorter timeframe. This was the the first real test. While I'm over the timeline I gave myself, there are ticks on other counts including a sense of easy connecting - and a plan to communicate more in other ways such as video!! I'd love to hear what others are finding!
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture

Next Howlings

13 December: Gala Celebration - "Fly Me to the Moon" (Brisbane)
Meet and celebrate inspiring women of the Brisbane region. Share tales of challenge, courage, inspiration and humour - ie your fly-me-to-the-moon stories.  Bring your women friends and dress as you'd wish for travelling to the moon from our launchpad on the rooftop (Gambaro Room) at Common Ground, South Brisbane, overlooking the iconic Brisbane River and city skyline.  (More info)
Early bird until 30 November: regular $50 / concession $35 (or bring a friend who hasn't attended previously and both of you qualify for the special rate). From 1 December: regular $60 / concession $40.
Registration includes venue hire, event, supper, donation. Wine: BYO or purchase by the glass.  All profits go to end homelessness in Brisbane and to support a remote Aboriginal Women's Centre.
Dates for 2017
Get set up with these full moon dates marked into your diary.
Times are 5.45 pm for 6 pm -  9.30 pm, at an inner Brisbane location. 
Subscribe to the newsletter for venue updates. 
  • Thursday 12 January
  • Saturday  11 February
  • Monday    13 March
  • Tuesday   11 April

Meet and celebrate inspiring women of the Brisbane region. Share tales of challenge, courage, inspiration and humour - ie your fly-me-to-the-moon stories.  Bring your women friends and dress as you'd wish for travelling to the moon from our launchpad on the rooftop (Gambaro Room) at Common Ground, South Brisbane, overlooking the iconic Brisbane River and city skyline.  (More info)

Acts of Liberation (online) - new group initiative

At the last Women Howling at the Moon, I mentioned my new streamlined small group program for women, Acts of Liberation. Beginning in the new year, Acts of Liberation is for women who'd like to start the year powerfully connected with their vision and their passion, friends with their inner critic, engage the power of community, and create a plan to sustain liberation over time. Which can all be put to the good purpose of getting you started on something you'd LOVE to get underway in your life.

​To find out more and register interest, visit 
Acts of Liberation.
0 Comments

Stepping Into Your Greatness

19/10/2016

0 Comments

 

This month's conversation has been around stepping into your greatness: connecting with your authentic self and claiming your magnificence.  

Many would agree that this is critical and urgent not only for us at a personal level, but also for our planet and our global community that women actively claim their power and bring about their vision for the world.  

The way forward

To shift the status quo, we each need to discover how to stop the challenges being significant. 

We recognise many of the big challenges weighing us down and that we need to ditch, eg the self-doubt and "I'm not good enough" self-talk; the procrastination, perfectionism and getting stuck in the detail; the fear of failing in some way, of not living up to our own or others' expectations; the inability to reach out to others; the self-subverting of our voice in order to fit the dominant (internal and external) narrative; and perhaps the tendency to see the greatness in other women yet not in ourselves ...to name just a few. 

When those elements are running the show, they'll keep us small and isolated with our heads down, feeling defective (or some variation of damaged or not enough) ... and certainly without streaming access to creativity, authenticity, vulnerability, joy or courage - let alone the hope of fulfilling on the vision and contribution we want to bring about within this lifetime - our legacy. (We'll all know this in some form.)

Our own particular blockers may stop us at what feels like the start - or when we start achieving success - or even when all is going hugely successfully, and we start to take our next step up, or perhaps we fear losing it all. Whichever is your particular flavour, don't think of this as a sign of inadequacy. Rather, it's welcome to the human condition! And if you're not experiencing even a twinge of these concerns, consider whether you're staying safe inside your comfort zone.  

What works

We know much of what's needed: to connect with our vision and what greatness is for each of us; to  live in the present; to identify the beliefs and behaviours in the way; to own what we have done and recognise it; to address the fear and get on with what's needed; to connect with our very own inner team of solidarity and outer communities of support.

And the very first step is to start and to be in action!! 

Invitation: your next first step


Q: If there were no barriers, what sort of steps might you consider taking on next in stepping into your greatness?

If you're willing to be in action about this...
  1. Identify the very first step you will take.
  2. Share it to help keep it alive and to have it happen! Share on the Facebook Women Howling at the Moon private group page. Allow this highly supportive community of women to be a stand for your greatness.
  3. Take that step and let us know how it went - whatever happened.

Good advice ;->

Don't let yourself be put off when this feels uncomfortable! That's a good sign, an indication that you are stepping out of your comfort zone. Lean into that discomfort! Embrace it, even! 
​

Future Women Howling at the Moon events...

NOVEMBER HOWLING
Next month Women Howling at the Moon on Tuesday 14 November will be a perfect follow on from our focus on greatness. A brilliant opportunity to experiment being in action, and then to deal with the more than likely procrastination that will turn up in one guise or another.

Join us at the salubrious Gertrude & Mabel cafe for deep diving conversation and POWERING BEYOND PROCRASTINATION. All women are welcome. Women Howling is not for profit, with all profits supporting a remote Aboriginal women's centre.
Read more  |  BOOK NOW by 30 October for the early bird rates. 

DECEMBER HOWLING AND END OF YEAR CELEBRATION
Tuesday 13 December will be a gala celebration of inspiring women making a difference in Brisbane and environs. There'll be guest women speaking, activities, gorgeous food and wine. Our venue will be Common Ground's gloriously salubrious and spacious rooftop Gambaro Room, overlooking the Brisbane River and the CBD. We hope women will bring friends and colleagues. The evening will raise funds both for Common Ground to end homelessness in Brisbane, and the work of the remote Kapululangu Women's Centre.  Read more  |  BOOK NOW for the early bird rates. 
​

WANTING TO STEP UP NOW?
Chris makes a small number of complimentary Unstoppability discovery sessions available for women who would like to get clearer on what stepping into their greatness would be for them, and to identify the first steps in having that happen. For details, visit here. 


0 Comments

Scenes from Stepping into Greatness at Gertrude & Mabel's

18/10/2016

1 Comment

 
A gorgeous evening networking, sharing stories of courage and stepping into our greatness with women from Brisbane area and as far afield as Warwick, Gympie and the Sunshine Coast, the Gold Coast and Melbourne. The new venue was pronounced a great success and we'll gather there again next month, on Tuesday 15 November.
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
From top, L-R: Maria Delaney, Kathryn Walton, Jo Knights; Pam Corcoran, Pam Blamey, Suhaila Amin-Rezaei; Kristy Holden, Deb Kellie; Denise Bolland, Christie Harrison; cake; flowers; Janette McLeod and Claire Maizonnier.
Picture
Picture
Left and above: the lovely Gertrude & Mabel Cafe.
Below, L-R: Penny Robertson, Kerry McGovern; Elina Juusola, Lani Roberts (two photos); Janet Blake (Jj), Monica McNeill; Deb Graham, Angela Hill; Christie Harrison, Maria Delaney; Claire Maisonnier, Nikki; Janette, Pam Blamey; Maggie Barszczyk, Shelley Marx; Diana Moore, Janette; Maggie, Narelle Potter.  
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Women Howling at the Moon next:
  • Tues 15 Nov at Gertrude & Mabel's (Focus: procrastination)
  • Tues 13 Dec at Common Ground (End of year celebration: women!)
Come along to enjoy the company, the conversation, the inspiration and the howling!
1 Comment

On Setting Bold (and Beautiful) Boundaries

18/10/2016

0 Comments

 
At first glance, boundaries seems fairly straight-forward as a topic for exploration. Yet the field is more complex than might first appear and, paradoxically, that effective boundaries are essential for enabling expansive freedoms and creativity and connecting, as well as for safeguarding our personal spaces and wellbeing.

The type of boundary-setting we engage in (and that we honour) shows others how we want to be treated, and is an integral component o
f loving ourselves and loving others. Our boundaries are bound to be challenged by, and challenge, others; and how we address those challenges and negotiate the relationships is a key to our values, the life we have and the results we see. Perhaps the biggest thought here is recognising that we always do have choice.

Dr David Gruder neatly summarises some of the key dimensions.

"A boundary is any limit I need to honor so I can love or work with you without resentment and with integrity.” 

What thoughts or actions occur to you from this starting point?

Focusing on boundaries ALSO brings awareness to the ways in which as women we can tend to talk and act in order to fit in with the cultural pressure to stay small and not stand out. Do you see this at all in yourself or in the women you know? It could show up as self-deprecating language, keeping quiet - or there be women you know who are already highly successful yet have not yet begun to unfurl their true magnficence and contribution to the world.

0 Comments

    Claim your courage!
    Subscribe for updates on Women Howling at the Moon and other events.




    Author

    Chris is a Courage Catalyst and bold stand for women ready to claim their courage, creativity and unstoppability and achieve the powerful results they want for themselves, their personal life, their business, the world. 

    Archives

    February 2018
    September 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    April 2014
    February 2014
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    May 2013
    January 2012
    December 2011
    September 2011
    December 1969

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly