This month has been a big moon and a big topic for Women Howling at the Moon as we explored procrastination and how to power beyond it. The experience of deep diving into this challenging domain with a community of strong, wholehearted women was a treat.
Heartwarming, enlivening and inspiring is what comes to mind - and with a heap of ahas, new possibilities and even a new lightness of being pervading the room. Then there was the howling and laughing. No need to tell you what all that does for the endorphins!
This issue is of particular interest to women with a big commitment to leave the world a better place.
Thank goodness we had a lot of experts in the room we could call on. Read on for the key learnings, ahas and actions from this learned and experienced group.
Heartwarming, enlivening and inspiring is what comes to mind - and with a heap of ahas, new possibilities and even a new lightness of being pervading the room. Then there was the howling and laughing. No need to tell you what all that does for the endorphins!
This issue is of particular interest to women with a big commitment to leave the world a better place.
Thank goodness we had a lot of experts in the room we could call on. Read on for the key learnings, ahas and actions from this learned and experienced group.
What we're talking about
Procrastination is widely considered to be "the practice of carrying out less urgent tasks in preference to more urgent ones, or doing more pleasurable things in place of less pleasurable ones, and thus putting off impending tasks to a later time."
Implicit here is a negative consequence to the actions. That puts procrastination in a whole different ballpark to the more straight-forward, intentional practice of delaying a task or otherwise creating a clearing for action. It is also different to prioritising or scheduling. (Keep this conversation in mind for when we later talk about procrastination and creativity.)
Procrastination shows up in a heap of ways including perfectionism, avoidance, feeling stuck, self-sabotage, overwork, overwhelm, indecision, negativity-thinking and fear of failure. Even apparent thrill-seeking may be included, eg for those of us who do assignments at the last minute due to continually putting off the inevitable.
Implicit here is a negative consequence to the actions. That puts procrastination in a whole different ballpark to the more straight-forward, intentional practice of delaying a task or otherwise creating a clearing for action. It is also different to prioritising or scheduling. (Keep this conversation in mind for when we later talk about procrastination and creativity.)
Procrastination shows up in a heap of ways including perfectionism, avoidance, feeling stuck, self-sabotage, overwork, overwhelm, indecision, negativity-thinking and fear of failure. Even apparent thrill-seeking may be included, eg for those of us who do assignments at the last minute due to continually putting off the inevitable.
Locked in by fear
Procrastination tends to be underpinned and driven by fear. The presence of fear sets the amygdala brain's primitive flight-fight function in motion, which reduces access to the more thoughtful wisdom of the prefrontal cortex, and can prompt further avoidance behaviours. Round and round we go, yes?? Recognise that feeling or pattern? Me too! Add in there a tendency towards immediate gratification versus and avoidance of discomfort or delayed gratification, and it's a potent mix!
There is a real cost associated with procrastination, isn't there, for both the longer term and in the immediate moment - and on so many dimensions.
Of course you will have heard most of this before since the inner critics have a LOT to say around this topic, since they have a vested interest to have us get 'off it'. Or do they??
There is a real cost associated with procrastination, isn't there, for both the longer term and in the immediate moment - and on so many dimensions.
Of course you will have heard most of this before since the inner critics have a LOT to say around this topic, since they have a vested interest to have us get 'off it'. Or do they??
Procrastination is underpinned and driven by fear. The presence of fear sets the amygdala brain's primitive flight-fight function in motion, which reduces access to the more thoughtful wisdom of the prefrontal cortex, and can prompt further avoidance behaviours. Round and round we go, yes?? Recognise that feeling or pattern? Me too!
There is a real cost associated with procrastination, isn't there, for both the longer term and in the immediate moment - and on so many dimensions.
Of course you will have heard most of this before since the inner critics have a LOT to say around this topic, since they have a vested interest to have us get 'off it'. Or do they??
There is a real cost associated with procrastination, isn't there, for both the longer term and in the immediate moment - and on so many dimensions.
Of course you will have heard most of this before since the inner critics have a LOT to say around this topic, since they have a vested interest to have us get 'off it'. Or do they??
Our inner critics help us stay stuck, with the result that OMG we can end up repeating the same crappy patterns ad infinatum and, if we're supposedly also stepping up and playing big, we can feel exhausted even before we get started.
Imagine doing step aerobics where we are sitting ducks for getting beaten up at every step, and there's a powerful force dragging us in the other direction for every tiny move we made - while putting us down and telling us in no uncertain terms to get on with it.
We know from science and practice that that approach totally doesn't work for changing behaviours for the better.
Imagine doing step aerobics where we are sitting ducks for getting beaten up at every step, and there's a powerful force dragging us in the other direction for every tiny move we made - while putting us down and telling us in no uncertain terms to get on with it.
We know from science and practice that that approach totally doesn't work for changing behaviours for the better.
Procrastination vis a vis creativity
Some folk talk about procrastination as useful as a way of generating space for ideas and creativity.
However from what we understand of brain functioning, access to creativity reduces when fear is present. In fact, creativity is WAY harder to access in the presence of fear. It's that amygdala part of the brain in action, whereas we need action in that area to diminish to allow the prefrontal cortex to come into play for creativity.
When we make a space for creativity, for incubating ideas, it is a conscious action, a choice to make space.
See how the clearing for creativity, eg the artist break, can be understood as a consciously choice of delay - eg taking a space between the start and finish of a project. It is not that sort of hunted or out-of-our-control feeling that we associate with procrastination.
When we label this action, this honouring of our creative dimensions as procrastination, we fall in line with the proclivity of the Inner Critic to position anything as bad, especially if it's a dimension of us. Plus this put-down fits in with the lesser value placed by society on mindfulness, creativity, being present. Hmm - participating in a conspiracy theory against us, maybe?
Let's name and claim our creative spaces, our ideas generation spaces as exactly THAT. Not as procrastination!
However from what we understand of brain functioning, access to creativity reduces when fear is present. In fact, creativity is WAY harder to access in the presence of fear. It's that amygdala part of the brain in action, whereas we need action in that area to diminish to allow the prefrontal cortex to come into play for creativity.
When we make a space for creativity, for incubating ideas, it is a conscious action, a choice to make space.
See how the clearing for creativity, eg the artist break, can be understood as a consciously choice of delay - eg taking a space between the start and finish of a project. It is not that sort of hunted or out-of-our-control feeling that we associate with procrastination.
When we label this action, this honouring of our creative dimensions as procrastination, we fall in line with the proclivity of the Inner Critic to position anything as bad, especially if it's a dimension of us. Plus this put-down fits in with the lesser value placed by society on mindfulness, creativity, being present. Hmm - participating in a conspiracy theory against us, maybe?
Let's name and claim our creative spaces, our ideas generation spaces as exactly THAT. Not as procrastination!
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AHAs and takeaways
Our Inner Critics have a vested interest that may be quite different to ours. We each have a wise woman inside. We would do well to create a space to listen in to her, to our intuition. Listen for what we really want or need - and that can change within a short space of time. Below are suggestions from the group regarding some of the key underlying issues and responses found to be effective:
Fear of what's next: Be comfortable with uncertainty
Thrill seeking / Disconnection with the inner: Be still. Be in the moment.
Perfectionism: Let it sit. Breathe. Do something different. Cogitate to determine a way forward. Embrace imperfect action and 'fail fast'.
Fear of failure: Ask for help. If it's worth doing, it's worth doing badly. Listen to yourself. Ask your body.
Trust yourself.
Frustration, anger (eg avoidance of systems): Sometimes the appropriate response may be righteous resistance, for example when a decreed course of action does not match one's own beliefs. Other suggestions here are to choose the way things are; and to look at what I need to work on next in myself.
Fear of what's next: Be comfortable with uncertainty
Thrill seeking / Disconnection with the inner: Be still. Be in the moment.
Perfectionism: Let it sit. Breathe. Do something different. Cogitate to determine a way forward. Embrace imperfect action and 'fail fast'.
Fear of failure: Ask for help. If it's worth doing, it's worth doing badly. Listen to yourself. Ask your body.
Trust yourself.
Frustration, anger (eg avoidance of systems): Sometimes the appropriate response may be righteous resistance, for example when a decreed course of action does not match one's own beliefs. Other suggestions here are to choose the way things are; and to look at what I need to work on next in myself.
And from the evening, AHAs grouped under three key themes: looking after self (eg reframe what our inner critics are saying, such as "No, I haven't stopped my life! I'm redesigning!"), becoming aware of what's running in the background (eg the realisation that "fear is my roadblock") and identifying one area in which to take action (eg "ask for help!").
Closing message: give compassion to ourselves first!
This has been a timely reminder of how liberating it is to share solitary experience and to be reminded just how much what feels a solitary anguish is in fact the human condition shared by every one of us - despite what each of our inner critics continues to whisper or snark to us!
Perhaps the biggest shared takeaways of all was how important it is to give up beating ourselves up, and instead to come from love, be present, bring compassion to ourselves (now there's a new idea for some of us ;->) and listen to our intuition.
Perhaps the biggest shared takeaways of all was how important it is to give up beating ourselves up, and instead to come from love, be present, bring compassion to ourselves (now there's a new idea for some of us ;->) and listen to our intuition.
PLUS, remember that we call procrastination at times may not in fact be that at all, but rather, a wise choice to take a creativity break, or to honour our values through quietly avoiding the task. This is a very different situation, so let's name it properly and give ourselves a break, hehe, okay?
A lunar information source* summed up a key aspect of this particular full moon's wisdom in the following way*:
A lunar information source* summed up a key aspect of this particular full moon's wisdom in the following way*:
"the more grounded we are in reality,
the easier it is to deal with our fears,
turning them into raw, creative potential."
the easier it is to deal with our fears,
turning them into raw, creative potential."
Invitation to share
I invite you to join the Women Howling private group conversation online if you're a woman and you haven't already. You'll find a lovely, diverse group of strong, caring, compassionate women who are keen to be the best version of themselves they can - and to be a contribution further afield.
Stop by and say hello. AND if you like, when you're ready ..in fact, before you're ready! ...share an AHA you've had, and your intention for the next few weeks.
For me, I can become quite stuck when it comes to expressing myself in writing. My intention is to bring a new lightness and play and more me to my communication, and to write in a shorter timeframe. This was the the first real test. While I'm over the timeline I gave myself, there are ticks on other counts including a sense of easy connecting - and a plan to communicate more in other ways such as video!! I'd love to hear what others are finding!
Stop by and say hello. AND if you like, when you're ready ..in fact, before you're ready! ...share an AHA you've had, and your intention for the next few weeks.
For me, I can become quite stuck when it comes to expressing myself in writing. My intention is to bring a new lightness and play and more me to my communication, and to write in a shorter timeframe. This was the the first real test. While I'm over the timeline I gave myself, there are ticks on other counts including a sense of easy connecting - and a plan to communicate more in other ways such as video!! I'd love to hear what others are finding!
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Next Howlings
13 December: Gala Celebration - "Fly Me to the Moon" (Brisbane)
Meet and celebrate inspiring women of the Brisbane region. Share tales of challenge, courage, inspiration and humour - ie your fly-me-to-the-moon stories. Bring your women friends and dress as you'd wish for travelling to the moon from our launchpad on the rooftop (Gambaro Room) at Common Ground, South Brisbane, overlooking the iconic Brisbane River and city skyline. (More info)
Meet and celebrate inspiring women of the Brisbane region. Share tales of challenge, courage, inspiration and humour - ie your fly-me-to-the-moon stories. Bring your women friends and dress as you'd wish for travelling to the moon from our launchpad on the rooftop (Gambaro Room) at Common Ground, South Brisbane, overlooking the iconic Brisbane River and city skyline. (More info)
Early bird until 30 November: regular $50 / concession $35 (or bring a friend who hasn't attended previously and both of you qualify for the special rate). From 1 December: regular $60 / concession $40.
Registration includes venue hire, event, supper, donation. Wine: BYO or purchase by the glass. All profits go to end homelessness in Brisbane and to support a remote Aboriginal Women's Centre.
Registration includes venue hire, event, supper, donation. Wine: BYO or purchase by the glass. All profits go to end homelessness in Brisbane and to support a remote Aboriginal Women's Centre.
Dates for 2017
Get set up with these full moon dates marked into your diary.
Times are 5.45 pm for 6 pm - 9.30 pm, at an inner Brisbane location.
Subscribe to the newsletter for venue updates.
Meet and celebrate inspiring women of the Brisbane region. Share tales of challenge, courage, inspiration and humour - ie your fly-me-to-the-moon stories. Bring your women friends and dress as you'd wish for travelling to the moon from our launchpad on the rooftop (Gambaro Room) at Common Ground, South Brisbane, overlooking the iconic Brisbane River and city skyline. (More info)
Get set up with these full moon dates marked into your diary.
Times are 5.45 pm for 6 pm - 9.30 pm, at an inner Brisbane location.
Subscribe to the newsletter for venue updates.
- Thursday 12 January
- Saturday 11 February
- Monday 13 March
- Tuesday 11 April
Meet and celebrate inspiring women of the Brisbane region. Share tales of challenge, courage, inspiration and humour - ie your fly-me-to-the-moon stories. Bring your women friends and dress as you'd wish for travelling to the moon from our launchpad on the rooftop (Gambaro Room) at Common Ground, South Brisbane, overlooking the iconic Brisbane River and city skyline. (More info)
Acts of Liberation (online) - new group initiative
At the last Women Howling at the Moon, I mentioned my new streamlined small group program for women, Acts of Liberation. Beginning in the new year, Acts of Liberation is for women who'd like to start the year powerfully connected with their vision and their passion, friends with their inner critic, engage the power of community, and create a plan to sustain liberation over time. Which can all be put to the good purpose of getting you started on something you'd LOVE to get underway in your life.
To find out more and register interest, visit Acts of Liberation.
To find out more and register interest, visit Acts of Liberation.
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