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Honouring self: an inquiry

7/3/2016

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​A fortnight ago, a community of women met over dinner to explore what it is to 'honour self' and nourish the activist within. It was a fascinating, reflective conversation - AND it will be continued this month. You're welcome to join if you're around Brisbane. You can also join the Facebook conversation after the event.

​For those who weren't able to make it, here's an idea of the ground we covered. You might like to look for yourself. 

Scoping the issue

We began by rating our current level of 'honouring ourselves' (according to our own definitions), ...using a rating out of 10, with ten being tops. (If you rate yourself fairly low, you won't be alone.) We also considered what we would like it to be. Then our discussion progressed along the lines of...

​Do you have a sense of what gets in the way?

The first area of life that occurs to us will generally be a good indicator of something that's feeling neglected.

​Of whatever it is that gets in the way, the biggest factor will be our own inner voices. That litany that starts with words like should, must, can't, referring to yourself or to others. 

How's it looking in there? Pretty cluttered and noisy?

If the response is errrh yes, join the club! Welcome to the baggage that gets in the way of our honouring ourselves. 

​What would you like to have in your life, what aspect would you like to be honouring, that currently isn't getting much of a look-in? (You'll know.)
Picture
“When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.”
​– Jean Shinoda Bolen

Clearing the clearing

Picture

“I stopped waiting for the world to give me what I wanted; I started giving it to myself." - Byron Katie
In my work with Unstoppable Women, one of the moving AHA liberations comes when, having become powerfully connected with and inspired by their vision, AND powerfully grounded in the present.... these courageous beings become dazzlingly aware of the crap that's stopping them from creating a clearing for their magnificence. 

That may not sound like a fabulous moment, yet it is! For in that very second, building on our preliminary work, WE get to take over the drivers' seat of our lives!! Much that has been dis-honouring us and disempowering us, loses its power and falls away. That which is still operating, well, we now know what it is, hence we can work out what tools we'll use to deal with it. 

Neat, hey! We found it useful at this point to pause to get a sense of what's been running us - and as much as possible, the exact phrases. (Dealing in generalities simply helps them to stay embedded. You may even get an inkling of where a particular belief first got introduced in decades past.)

What would you choose?

In THAT space of freedom where we get to choose, anything becomes possible. We then asked ....

What then would YOU like to be doing to care for yourself, to honour yourself?

This could be BIG PICTURE, for example an attitude we'll take with us through the rest of our lives ....through to a micro activity we'd undertake each day...or anything in between. 

Down below are the enthusiastic off-the-cuff thoughts from a cafe full of women considering this very topic.

We'd love to hear any additional thoughts in the comments below.

How WILL you honour YOUR self?

Okay. I'm a coach, a courage catalyst. I do this work because I'm passionately 100% committed to women realising their full potential. And that can only happen when WE HONOUR OURSELVES.  Which means being in action.  SO check inwards, or check below on the list, and: 
  1. Keep noticing what beliefs you have running. 
  2. identify what action or way of being you will commit to during the next month that will give you joy and by which you'll know that you are honouring yourself in a way you haven't been. (Hint: it can be verrrry simple and small, and quite often it's the smallest actions, repeated daily, that have the biggest lifelong reward).
  3. Don't keep it a secret - no way! If you're at all serious about making space for self-care, share your resolve with others. Enrol them in the possibility that lights you up. 
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“You can't offer happiness until you have it for yourself. So build a home inside by accepting yourself and learning to love and heal yourself."
​- Thich Nhat Hanh

Like to follow this up for yourself?

Join us in person

For women in Brisbane and vicinity, you are warmly welcome to join the next Women Howling at the Moon which will be meeting on Wednesday 23 March at Highgate Hill. Click *here* for details and to book. (NOTE: register by Mon 14 March for the early bird rate and the chance of a free meal!!)

The THEME for March will be a continuation of 'Honouring you'. If you've read this blog post, you'll be well set up to leap right in for some gorgeous deep diving conversation as we take this topic to a new level of possibility for the women present. 

Find out what is possible for you
If you're ready to explore more deeply what honouring you - and being unstoppable on your terms - could look like, I am offering a short complimentary, no-obligation session. To apply, add your contact details at this link and I'll get back to you shortly.

A few ideas!

While the actual definition of 'honouring self' can be elusive, the community of women had no trouble coming up with a heap of ideas. Feel free to choose if any take your fancy.
  • ​Allow yourself to want things - give yourself permission!
  • Prioritise what's important.
  • Give yourself time to think.
  • Think about what you want
  • Create New Year's resolutions and take other opportunities to help you set and realise your goals.
  • Share your intentions / tell important others and be enrolling with others. 
  • Be your own best friend
  • Negotiate. 
  • Practise saying no when something doesn't serve you.
  • Be okay to do nothing
  • Create your version of an altar at home
  • Practice mindfulness
Nourish yourself with ...
  • Nature
  • Motorbikes
  • Truthfulness
  • Sharing 
  • Dancing 
  • Meditation
  • Masturbation
  • Going barefoot
  • Crosswords
  • Colouring in / Zentangle
  • Movies
  • Nature
  • Waterfalls
  • Naked rain bath
  • Have a room of your own
  • Friendships
  • Add value - take on a new hobby
  • Lego with kids 
  • Morning pages  
  • Gardening​

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    Chris is a Courage Catalyst and bold stand for women ready to claim their courage, creativity and unstoppability and achieve the powerful results they want for themselves, their personal life, their business, the world. 

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